Last week, my husband and I traveled to Arizona so I could stand up in the wedding of one of my best friends. From the night she asked me to be her maid of honor back in 2022, I started thinking about what I would say in my speech. Well, last Saturday was the big day, and people from all over the country came to support this couple! We had guests from Michigan, Illinois, Kentucky, New Jersey, Montana, Arizona, Washington, Hawaii, Alabama, Florida, and probably more states I’m forgetting. Together, in an absolutely GORGEOUS garden venue, we got to witness them take their next step into marriage.
After I delivered my speech to all the guests (including several of my genuinely esteemed leaders, mentors, and friends from my professional life), I received so many lovely compliments. My husband even told me a few times that watching me give my speech was the highlight of our vacation for him. An admittedly small group of people have been asking to see my speech, so I figured I’d share it here. I was so proud and honored to be a part of this wedding, and I hope you can feel the love I have for them through my words.
Hello everyone, and thank you so much for being here. We may not have walked into this event knowing everyone, but we all have something in common: we got to be here at the very beginning of this marriage. We got to bear witness to this union because of the roles we play in the lives of these two amazing people.
I’m Haley, and I’ve had the gift of having Kristen as a close friend for almost ten years now. We met at work, immediately bonded over our love for our nieces and nephews, and I’ve had a ride-or-die friend ever since. I’m fortunate enough to feel her impact in my personal and professional life, which means I have maybe too much to say about her. Fair warning here: I’m not particularly known for being concise. I’m a wordy gal. For your sakes, I’ve challenged myself to keep my message simple. Wish us all luck!
Kristen is an overt optimist. She is an artist. She is a giver. She is a margarita connoisseur. She is a believer in kindness, service, and gratitude. She is the person who, on my wedding day, flew into the role of day-of coordinator with zero notice because the day was crumbling. Despite my cake literally falling apart in the car on the way to my venue, my flowers and centerpieces being delivered super late, and a whole slew of tiny fires that needed to be put out, I walked into my reception completely unaware that any of it had even happened. Kristen is a savior of days, and at times, I’d even call her a miracle worker. I know that at least half of this room knows exactly how I felt when she told me back in 2018 that she was moving to Tucson. I didn’t want her to go! That’s my girl! That’s my bestie! Still, I knew she was creating the life she hoped for, and I was excited for her.
When she told me she had met someone, I was automatically both happy for her and, to be honest, slightly skeptical. Who was this guy? What were his intentions with my girl? Maybe it was the fact that I was firmly in my motherhood era and my protective mama bear nature was coming out, but optimistic givers like Kristen can sometimes find themselves in situations where they give more than they get. I decided to visit and check this new guy out a few years ago.
What I found when I arrived was a man who was just as enamored by Kristen’s sparkle as the rest of her friends and family are. I got to be a quiet observer of their love story as they took me around Tucson to show me their favorite places. Stephen and I met each other and learned a bit more about one another, and by the time I left, I had a new person in my life. Kristen doesn’t know this, but I teared up as my flight took off back to Detroit. I knew I was leaving my friend in excellent hands with a man who admired and encouraged her to take care of herself as much as she takes care of those around her.
Fast forward to today, and look at what they’ve built together. I truly want everyone to take a moment and look around you—faces you know, faces you don’t—all unified today as we watch them take this next step in their journey together.
When two people are getting married, something they often hear is, “Marriage is tough, but so worth it.” Now, I just celebrated my sixth anniversary with my incredible husband, Evan, and while I don’t claim to be an expert on marriage, I will tell you that from my experience and perspective so far, I completely disagree.
Marriage is a promise to bear witness to the life of another. It is a promise that no matter what happens—what curveballs life sends your way, the ups, the downs, the elation and devastation—I will witness you. I will love you. I will be here for you and help you through it all. You will not face any of it alone because I promise to be right by your side. I’m not saying that it will always be easy—what I’m saying is that when approached holistically and realistically, marriage is a strength. Life is what gets hard, not marriage. LIFE is what gets tough—and that’s when your bond has the opportunity to become even stronger.
Kristen, Stephen, I want you two to look at each other. I know you already said your vows, but I’m going to be bossy for a second and make you say a few more things. Married couples who are feeling festive, you are welcome to join me! Look at each other and repeat after me:
- Through whatever is to come, I will be your witness.
- I will protect your heart.
- I will be your voice of reason and your biggest cheerleader.
- I will give it to you straight, but always with kindness.
- I will honor you by communicating my needs openly.
- I promise to take care of myself so I can take care of you with a full heart.
- I will hold you accountable.
- I will love you and honor you with every breath.
Everyone, please raise your glasses and join me in celebrating the new Mr. and Mrs. Thamann! Congratulations!
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